Dear Diary,

I think it's important to realize when I am being indulgent, in any way, and in particular when I am being indulgent about my same old story. Basically I can recognize that I am slightly addicted to being disappointed in men that I perceive as disappearing. As I mentioned yesterday, G and I technically did not have a date, I have been feeling disappointed that we didn't connect, blah blah blah. I can fall into a total hole, but I'm just going to all the same places I always go in my mind.

Somehow I just have to take a big step back... and get my shit together. I need to take care of my health, and my work, I need to pay off my debt, I need to save money, I need to organize myself in such a way where I am not scrambling and struggling to make ends meet, I need to relax, I need to learn how to sleep, I need to eat better, I need to lose weight, and I need to heal myself emotionally so I am not such a complete and utter mess... yes... these are the things I need to do.

HOW I am going to do that? Well, that is the question. All of a sudden I just started feeling so depressed, I'm not quite sure why...

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