Dear Diary,

An early day and I'm off to the pt job again. My god, I just might make a decent amount of hours even though I took last Wednesday off and didn't work a full 20 last week. I'm extremely dedicated, of course, because I just need the money. There are bills to pay...

I put the majority of my tax refund on my credit card and it sure feels good to know that number is going down. I'm hoping I can make it stick this time, and really make a difference. I am trying this new financial plan that was suggested to me by the teacher of the workshop last weekend. A certain percentage of income is deducted as soon as you get it- so it's like you pay yourself first. That percentage is divided into savings, fun, and charity. So you put a little away for each thing. You are also allowed to use the savings or the fun money to help pay off debt. Right now I am choosing to take the money from savings and apply it to my debt. The fun money can be used for any activity I want and I may just use it to go and get a massage! So since I have been home I've divided my money up this way and so far I feel pretty good about it.

I still want to make a goodly amount of cash this week though, so I am going to work every day. Yesterday I worked 7.5 hours at the pt and today might be the same. It was really nice to go in yesterday because hardly anyone is there on Mondays, particularly the owner- he never comes in. So it is a day to rack up hours with very little work.

Also I've been staying on a similar schedule and going to bed between 11:30-midnight and waking up between 8-9:30am. I was exceptionally tired yesterday but feeling better today, hope I can adjust to it all.

So the guy I thought I was going to connect with when I returned home- the one I met online- has not contacted me. I told him I would be home on the 21st and I gave him my phone number. The main plan was to speak on the phone, but as soon as I told him I would be home in ten days, he wrote, "Oh we'll talk when you get back." and the idea of him actually calling me seemed to go out the window. Really, it's quite alright because I was starting to doubt him as a choice anyway. He was trying to use a lot of stupid sexual innuedo in his emails and his humor was reflecting an adolescent sensibility... it just felt innaproppriate and was actually quite the turnoff for me. Plus there was the added fact that even though I had mentioned I was on vacation, he didn't ask me where I was or even how I was. This could either be a fault in personality or, as a co-worker mentioned to me, guys that troll online could be so busy just looking for SOME feminine creature that they don't have time to actually take an interest in any one in particular.

So, whatever. I can honestly say that I am over chasing the immature and the unavailable. Not that I don't slip once in awhile- why just yesterday I was thinking about going back online, because I watched "Then She Found Me". It's a movie directed by Helen Hunt about a 39 year old woman whose husband leaves her... I could definitely resonate with the desire and need for physical closeness and sex. But then I remembered all of my past online dating experiences and thought better of it.

I didn't stay at work too late last night- I was already tired so I didn't want to wear myself out completely. I left at a decent hour. I am always too tired to make food when I get home which is a problem. I need to get better about feeding myself (which reminds me, I am officially cleansing next week, I bought the kit... I am just so sick of feeling lousy and am ready for a change). I've been doing good on the no sugar- have had a couple of slip ups- there were these candy bars at the health food store... well, they are still not so healthy. But for me, I've been doing great, feeling lousy, so probably detoxing.

I had a bunch of calls- Elliot, JJ, my sister Delia, and a client. Then I was really ready to go to bed!

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