Dear Diary,

Here at the pt job, just had some kind of minor scare that I was going to get fired (which doesn't even really make sense). Why this fear? Because I walked into the kitchen during one of the owner's infamous "meetings" and everyone stopped talking. I dunno, maybe they were talking about firing the receptionist (which they talk about a lot, btw), but for some reason I got a little paranoid that I might be in trouble. After all, yesterday I was here for ten hours and didn't do a lick of work. I worked on my own business and watched three movies, but didn't expand beyond that.

So, I was worried about my future here for about ten minutes, and then... I just wasn't. I mean really, who gives a fuck? This job is a pain in my ass most of the time, doesn't pay well, keeps me from getting an adequate amount of sunlight and in general wears me out. If I didn't have this stinkin' job maybe I would work harder at my own business, sleep in, clean my house and in general not feel totally exhausted and unfulfilled in every area of my life. Who knows? Sounds so good I might quit.

The owner was in here earlier talking his usual crazy. He wants to move and get a fancy apartment, and he wants to hire another salesperson which is pretty insane. We have a salesperson who's doing well right now, but it's only been 2 months. Adding another person means paying out more salary and health insurance. Not to mention, I don't really know if we have enough stock at any one time for TWO people to sell. The owner insists that he knows what he's doing and that when I tell him we don't have the money, I will end up eating my words in six months. Uh, okay. But I have worked here almost a year now and he has always talked about this "big break" that is going to happen this month, next month... sometime. It never really happens. And if we do get lucky and make some money, he finds a way to spend it before it can even go to clean up any debt. Ridiculous!

Enough about that. I am here for another hour then I'm going to work for myself for a couple hours THEN I will be able to go home and put my pajamas on and say fuck you to the rest of the world...

Hmm.

Love,
Duck

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