Dear Diary,

Am I the only person left on Diaryland? Sometimes I wonder.

Today I noticed that Pam has officially unfriended me on FB. It feels like a little stab, but hey, I guess I knew it would happen eventually. I suppose part of me was hoping that whatever was going on would just blow over, but I guess I've been deemed BAD AND UNACCEPTABLE by Tim and Pam. To tell you the truth it makes me a bit angry, to just be judged and sentenced, for what? Some innocent remark? That they would rather throw away a friendship (or perhaps friendships with whole groups of people) than try to talk about it?? I find it laughable, infuriating, adolescent and hurtful all at the same time. I know that it is all for the best, because how could you possibly have any kind of true friendship with people like that? So I just have to work out my own feelings and get over it. I blocked both of them so they can't see me and I can't see them. I guess this will help since it will prevent my tendency to uselessly stalk them...

Emily had invited me to a dance class this afternoon but when she called early today I knew she didn't really want to go. It's okay, I am tired; have worked out a lot this week. I've been hanging out in my pajamas, I did watch some shows but I also did a little research on blogging and topics that maybe I will do for my business? I don't know. I got some recordings and stuff that is all about making your business better. Honestly I don't think I have the energy for a blog. It has been suggested to me before, by Nia- she's talked my ear off about it- but truthfully I don't think she realizes how tired and overworked I am, and yes articles might be interesting but I don't know if I can sustain such a thing, i.e. keep thinking of things to write about, make it interesting, find the time, etc. I already really suck at deadlines and it's quite the task just to get basic things done. Seriously. Why would I want to pressure and overwhelm myself any more than I'm already feeling? I think it's important for me to be realistic lest I dig myself another hole.

So I don't know. I am having some kind of crisis in general, and not really sure what to do next.

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